


Letters Found in a Medicine Chest

by hangingfire



Category: The Terror (TV 2018)
Genre: Cannibalism, Canonical Character Death, Epistolary, Family Feels, Found Footage, Gen, Heavy Angst, Historical References, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Murder, Not A Fix-It, Rocks Fall Everyone Dies, fictional academia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-25
Updated: 2018-12-25
Packaged: 2019-09-22 05:57:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,649
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17054456
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hangingfire/pseuds/hangingfire
Summary: "The following documents were found in the remains of a medicine chest recovered by John Rae in his 1854 expedition. The papers were concealed in what appears to have been a hastily devised false bottom, which unfortunately was inadequate to the task of protecting them from the elements, leaving some pages missing and others illegibly stained."





	1. Introduction

**Author's Note:**

  * For [potted_music](https://archiveofourown.org/users/potted_music/gifts).



> _Terror_ canon being what it is, this ended up being ... let's call it more of a Krampus treat than a proper Yuletide treat; you may want an uplifting chaser of your choice at the ready.

The following documents were found in the remains of a medicine chest recovered by John Rae during his 1854 expedition. The chest is similar to that found by the McClintock expedition (National Maritime Museum object ID AAA2224), but was found in poorer condition, the majority of its contents missing (see Fig. 1). The papers were concealed in what appears to have been a hastily-devised false bottom, which unfortunately was inadequate to the task of protecting them from the elements, leaving some pages missing and others illegibly stained (see Fig. 2). Some pages appear to have been missing before the papers were concealed, suggesting that the author was acting in haste more than care. As well, we cannot know if other letters existed; if so, they have been lost along with much of the written records of the expedition.

The chest and its contents surfaced only recently in the possession of Rae family descendants who prefer to remain anonymous. Over the last decade, it has undergone an extensive process of authentication (see Appendix A) and I am satisfied that they are indeed relics of the lost Franklin Expedition.

At least one reason why such valuable documents have remained obscure for over a century and a half becomes clear when they are read. Rae was famously pilloried by no less a luminary than Charles Dickens when his private report outlining the Inuit testimony and evidence of cannibalism during the last days of the ill-fated expedition became public, and the contents of these documents are even more shocking, containing as they do a fragmentary first-hand account of the expedition's descent into the deepest desperation. Rae appears to have suppressed the material himself, though it is also clear that he could not bring himself to destroy such a valuable relic.

I have edited these papers for spelling only, to improve the modern reader’s access to the records presented.

—Dr. R. Porter  
Professor, History, Brown University  
December 18, 2018

* * *

**List of Illustrations**

  * Fig. 1: Views of the medicine chest found by the Rae expedition, including a photograph showing the improvised false bottom in which these papers were concealed.
  * Fig. 2: Image of sheets from the manuscript, showing visible wear and staining.
  * Fig. 3: Margin illustration of a bear-like creature with a strangely flattened face, with the outline of a man drawn beside it for scale.
  * Fig. 4: Margin sketch of an Inuk woman in profile.



Figures 5 – 10 are drawings found on individual sheets of paper that were folded in with the letters. Judging from the writing and paper type and condition, they were drawn over a fairly wide span of time. Each is signed "H.D.S. Goodsir".

  * Fig. 5: Inked line drawings of assorted copepods, crustaceans, and other small marine fauna. Each is labeled with a letter, but the legend providing the names for each is missing.
  * Fig. 6: Inked and labeled line drawings of a bottlenose whale ( _Hyperoodon ampullatus_ ), male and female walruses ( _Odobenus rosmarus_ ), a beluga ( _Delphinapterus leucas_ ), and an Arctic fox ( _Vulpes lagopus_ ).
  * Fig. 7: Pencil sketch of what appears to be an Inuit amulet, carved in the shape of a bear with an elongated neck. Note in the margin: "Amulet or Fetiche found on body of Inuk man"
  * Fig. 8: Pencil sketch showing a crudely drawn anthropomorphic figure wielding a stick or spear and two antlered animals, possibly caribou. Note in the margin: "The Lady drew this on the wall of her berth on Terror"
  * Fig. 9: Pencil sketch showing an encampment of tents, which appear very small within a broad, otherwise bare landscape. Note in the margin: "Terror camp"
  * Fig. 10: Rough pencil sketch of a flowering plant, with a detail of the flower. The linework is very unsteady. Note in the margin: " _mertensia maritima_ ". This plant, also known as the oyster plant, is native to the coasts of the British Isles.




	2. The letters

My dear John,

The Consumption that I believe to have taken off the young Men we buried on Beechey Island has claimed another victim and once again the Youth of the sufferer makes his loss all the more painful. His name was David Young and he had a sister to whom he charged me to bring a Ring that he wore—but I a fool forgot to remove it when he was buried.

We have lost Five men on this voyage to date—in addition to the Beechey men and David a young sailor fell into the Ice and was lost. I asked Commander Fitzjames after Dinner this evening if such Mortality was common on expeditions such as these—he looked askance and said perhaps over the course of an entire Voyage but within the first Year is—he did not say what it is. He does not strike me as a Superstitious man but it is plain to see that he is disturbed. Some of the men speak of ill omens. I should prefer to not believe in such things of course but in this cold and lonely Expanse I think one may come to believe Anything that makes sense of a seemingly indifferent Universe.

_[Page missing]_

I cannot know when the ships will be freed from their Icy Confinement though Sir John is hopeful of next Summer. Barring a Miracle when you receive these letters it will be all at once and yet I find Comfort in writing them for here I may be more Candid than in the Journals and Logs that I must submit to the Admiralty upon our return and it pleases me to imagine your reactions.

I remain  
Your affectionate Brother  
Harry D.S Goodsir

* * *

_[Page missing]_

for I do not think I have ever been so confounded for how does one respectfully inter a Single Leg? In the end I washed it and bound it with a black Ribbon within a single stocking and placed on the foot the best shoe I could find in Sir John's cabin. After much silent debate I placed the Foot in the coffin where the head would lie. I continue to doubt my decision but it is quite too late now.

I have seen the Beast twice now and have been spared by it each time. I am perhaps the luckiest man aboard—or perhaps the Unluckiest for I am now plagued in my sleep with visions of the rending of poor Lt Gore and the sight of the Marine being plucked into the air as if he were a Flower. I assure you John that this is no mere Ursus maritimus—though you may scorn such a conclusion. It possesses Cunning beyond that of a mere Animal and I do believe it may know Cruelty as well. And the Size of it! I believe it would stand shoulder to shoulder with an Elephant.

I think still as well on the Esquimaux man and his daughter—or Inuk as Mr Blanky tells me they are properly called—would that we had treated him with the Respect that the girl demanded. It is fanciful of me perhaps but I think had we done so the Beast would be less Vengeful.

It is terrible to admit but I should like to see it again for it would be a Discovery beyond all reckoning—past anything that Darwin or Hooker saw on their Voyages. I attach a small sketch of the Beast as best as I can recall it.

_[Fig. 3: illustration of a bear-like creature with a strangely flattened face, with the outline of a man drawn beside it for scale.]_

I am ready to leave this place. I think that it does not want us here. I hope we shall be on the move soon and that before long I shall be writing to you from the sea near Russia or perhaps the Sandwich Islands.

believe me  
Your affect. Brother  
Harry D.S. Goodsir

* * *

My dear John,

Much has happened since last I wrote and I can scarce put it into words in any orderly fashion but I shall attempt it.

The Inuk girl has returned to us but not of her own Will. She was kidnaped by that rascal Hickey and two others and brought aboard Terror and I am told that the men in their Panic might well have slain her on the spot had Capt Crozier not intervened. The men were lashed and she was brought to Erebus for safety and I took it upon myself to see to her Well-Being.

She was quite silent at first—the name that the crew has given her—Lady Silence—was apt as ever—but I believe she has come to trust me. I flatter myself that she was fair impressed by the Lexicon of the Inuk language that I began in Disko Bay but it seems her people here in Nunavut have an altogether different Dialect. But from her and with some occasional Help from Mr Blanky I have learned much of her language these last few weeks and it is—I think—very beautiful. I certainly did not intend to become a Linguist when I embarked on this Voyage but it seems that I may inadvertently have become so and perhaps there will be interest in my Lexicon when I return home.

She is quite forthcoming with the Essentials of her Tongue but is Taciturn when I ask of certain Spiritual matters that seem deeply sacred to her people. She will not say it but the more she refuses to speak of it the more certain I am that the Creature that has been hunting our crew is one of those things and I believe that she is as frightened of it as we are. I can only Surmise based on the Relics I found on her father's body that he had some control over it or Bond with it and she does not.

The Lady has accepted the name the Crew has given her with grace and I think it is not uncommon amongst her people for people to adopt the Names bestowed upon them by others. As I learn her Language I am aware that there are many Subtleties that I could only gain by many years study and yet it seems to me that she has a quick Wit and perceptive Mind. I think I may yet dare call her a Friend and I half hope that she would say the same of me. Indeed she has vouchsafed me her own _[the first part of this sentence is struck through, and the last part blotted out entirely]_

I go now to another meeting with her in which she is meant to teach me words of Anatomy and I shall write more after. Until then I am

as ever  
yr affect. brother,  
Harry D. S. Goodsir

_[Fig. 4: a sketch of an Inuk woman in profile]_

* * *

_[page missing]_

Mr Blanky who may never be faulted for lack of courage drew its attention and it followed him up into the Rigging. I am told that he then set the creature's coat alight with his lantern and the men were thus able to fire upon it. We know now that it is a thing of Flesh at least. It fled into the Ice. But Mr Blanky's leg was beyond saving and so it fell to Dr MacDonald to perform an Amputation. The work was well done and we are confident of Mr Blanky's survival but it is no good thing to have anyone so incapacitated—least of all our Ice-Master.

Captain Crozier has taken this very hard and Dr MacDonald tells me he has Taken Ill. But in the silences between his words _[remainder of paragraph completely blotted out]_

As for the Lady she has fled. I do not know whether she has returned to her People or whether she takes it upon herself to confront the wounded Creature. I am sorry that she is gone—for the incomplete Lexicon and in all truth for her presence. She is a woman of much quiet Strength and subtle Power and I find I miss our talks greatly.

I am weary and so must close this letter. I remain  
your affectionate brother  
Harry D. S. Goodsir

* * *

My dear John,

Please forgive the _[illegible]_ for I am most shaken by a great many horrors.

As I write the Lady sleeps in my Berth though I hasten to mention that there is nothing Untoward for I sleep on what little floor I have to accommodate her. She is grievously Wounded though I believe she will survive. Her wounds are terrible to behold: her tongue cut out and a deep wound on her cheek. I feared at first that it might have been some dire Punishment inflicted by her people—but after examining her and her effects I believe the Amputation was Self-Inflicted. I can only surmise that this has something to do with the Creature which is perhaps responsible for the Laceration to her face though I cannot know what and she will not and of course cannot now tell me. I think she shall remain with us for a time and I shall continue to care for her until she is well.

I write of the Lady for it is much easier than the rest. We are in the most dreadful of straits. I tested our Tinned Provisions

_[Illegible]_

the cases of Debility that I have seen accompanied by a dark line in the gums akin to the effects of Bismuth. It is really quite interesting and were I not in the depths of the situation I should like to take a Scientific Interest in understanding and documenting it but I have not that luxury.

I brought this news to Dr Stanley and he took it with the usual mixture of Arrogance and Ignorance and I feared the matter buried and sought counsel with MacDonald and Peddie. Commander Fitzjames had declared a Carnivale for the men to raise their Spirits and for a while I suppose it was a success until Stanley appeared and

_[Remainder of page torn away.]_

in consequence of this Horror I find that I am now the senior Surgeon for the entire Expedition—for Stanley, MacDonald, and Peddie all perished.

Soon we set out on Foot across King William Land. Capt Crozier thinks we may reach Back's River and we hope as well that Lt Fairholme's scout party may have also found their way to some Civilisation—perhaps a Hudsons Bay Company outpost or the like. Pray for us my dear brother—for if prayers have any Effect we shall need as many as we can take.

Your affec. Brother  
Harry D. S. Goodsir

* * *

My dear John,

This must be brief for I have a Hanging to which I must attend. That blackguard Hickey has revealed himself a Murderer and I can scarce write for all my anger. He killed Lt Irving and his Deceptions led to the Slaughter of an innocent Netsilik family including a Child. He claimed Irving had been set upon and Mutilated by the Netsilik and Lt Hodgson took him at his word and ordered his men to fire upon the Family who had committed no crime but that of Generosity. Capt Crozier asked me to Autopsy the murdered Lieutenant and we found within his stomach Seal Meat clearly given him by this family. I cannot _[illegible]_

Joseph would counsel me to not bear Hatred in my heart and yet I hate Hickey though it shames me to admit it. Yet why should I be ashamed—for his actions shattered the Lady's heart and I can no longer comfort my friend for if she had returned to the Camp the men—now so frightened at the merest glimpse of an Inuk Parka—would have killed her at last. I think I shall not see her again.

I think I may count on two hands at most the men whom I can trust in this place. What a piece of work is man! as the playwright said—and I say he is a cowardly easily led thing more willing to trust his Fears than the evidence of his Eyes. It is a Cold Comfort to know that the human race shall not be plagued with Hickey after this day but I wonder how many such men there are—the Evil in their hearts merely awaiting an Opportunity.

In haste  
Your brother  
Harry Goodsir

* * *

Dearest John,

I write to you and yet I hope this letter shall never find you for I shall bear the shame of what I have done into Eternity. You may say I was forced but I have used the Gift of my Training and Education to do something that no Christian man should ever do to another

_[Several lines illegible]_

you may well fault me for having not been Gentle in doing so and yet I do not regret it for there is nothing gentle in my heart for these Men. What I shall ever regret is saying as much to that Monster whose name I can no longer bear to write for he took that as Licence to slay his Friend though I ought not say friend for he has none and Gibson died in my arms even as I tried in vain to pull him to Safety.

And then the Monster bade me butcher his flesh to feed his fellows. I refused and refused again but God help me I could no longer refuse when he set out to torture Hodgson—even that pitiable creature does not deserve to Suffer thus. Worse still I found on a String on Gibson’s neck the very Ring that Young had pressed upon me and I thought buried with him and so the Monster may add Grave-Robbery to the lengthy list of his Sins.

When the deed was done I brought forth the horrible fruits of my Labour and the Monster and his men sat round a Board for a table and willingly ate the remains of their late Comrade.

I am full up of Loathing. I am not the man you called Brother any longer—I do not deserve to be any man’s brother. I despise the World and Mankind—I curse whatever God there may be in the Firmament—but Most Of All I despise Myself for taking that Monster’s orders and not striking him down where he stands.

I have endured some time tonight Hodgson telling me a tale of his childhood—of a visit to his Papist aunts—how he took Communion with them. He says he would kill the Monster if he could but that he is Hungry and that he wants to Live. If this is the price of living—our Souls—our Humanity—all that makes us more than Beasts—then I do not know for how long I am willing to pay that Price or abet others in so doing.

These are sinful thoughts but they are all that I have left.

Harry

* * *

My dearest brother John,

Even more than the last letter I hope you never see this nor Father nor our brothers and especially not Jane and Joseph I think might call me damned. When I have finished this letter I shall take the Mandragora Opium &c that I have carried with me all this time and create for myself a final Draught.

I have very little Time in any case for the scurvy has taken hold in Earnest and _[illegible]_ be destroyed. I hope that Capt Crozier understood what I told him so that if he is Forced to partake he may be spared for he is the only worthy man left in this wretched camp.

John—I can scarcely recall your face or that of our brothers and sister. I know there is a Place where once we were Happy—we the Brotherhood of the Friends of Truth. The memory is as remote as Lothian Street is to this Severe and Beautiful land. We were not meant to come here and I hope none follow. I am glad to have seen it but I have paid too dearly for the Honour.

The night grows dark and I can scarce hold the Pen any longer. I must conceal my papers and then to my final task. I am sorry John. I am sorry for leaving—sorry I could not survive—sorry for my despair. If there is a God may he have it in his Grace to forgive me.

I do not Deserve to be but I remain to the end  
Your most affectionate brother  
Harry Duncan Spens Goodsir


	3. Afterword

There is, of course, no independent verification of any of the events described by Harry D.S. Goodsir in these letters, and there may never be. There are also many frustrating gaps in the narrative—what happened with Stephen Stanley that resulted in the deaths of three out of the four expedition surgeons? How did caulker's mate Cornelius Hickey come to escape his hanging? Was there a schism in the surviving members of the expedition, and if so, how did Goodsir come to be in the retinue of a man he plainly loathed when Francis Crozier appears to have still been alive? We now know a few fragments more of the horrors that befell those men who perished in the worst of circumstances, but as is ever the case with Franklin studies, a single answer opens the door to many, many more questions.

I am aware that certain elements mentioned within these letters verge on the fantastical. I have chosen to present them without judgment, for we can only imagine how the extreme conditions of cold, hunger, and illness must have affected the author's mind. I encourage the reader to maintain both an open mind and an open heart, and above all, to always think of these lost men with the greatest empathy.

—R. P.

**Author's Note:**

> I am heavily indebted to the community of my fellow  _Terror_  fans who have also developed an unseemly crush on a long-dead Scots scientist and/or Paul Ready's heartbreaking fictional version thereof, notably those who on Tumblr are known as keyofmgy, hegodamask, arcticelves, and others. This cohort has led me to many interesting rabbit holes of research on the life of Harry D. S. Goodsir (including his siblings John, Joseph, Jane, Robert, and Archibald) and to the Facebook group dedicated to the memory of the Franklin Expedition. The peculiar hybrid of  _Terror_ verse Harry and historical Harry that you see here comes from all of that. (p.s.: I will personally send a $10 gift card to the first commenter who correctly figures out the slightly obscure semi-reference in Dr. Porter's name.) Many apologies for my inability to draw and the necessary restriction of the hypothetical illustrations to verbal descriptions only. 
> 
> Post-reveal edit: I wrote a sort of chaser for this for Madness; you will find it [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17083529).
> 
> I am very grateful to my friends and family for tolerating months and months of Franklin obsession. Thanks to my betas for their support and willingness to review a draft of this descent into hell, and thanks to potted_music for putting their Terror request out there. And finally, to the shades of the real Henry "Harry" Duncan Spens Goodsir and the other men of the Franklin Expedition, my deepest apologies and respect.


End file.
